Therapy for Consensual Non-Monogamy, Polyamory, and Open Relationships in Pasadena, CA

Communication & Emotional Intelligence

Like any relationship, CNM dynamics benefit from strong communication skills and emotional intelligence (EQ). Therapy can help individuals and partners enhance their communication strategies and increase emotional understanding and attunement, ensuring that everyone involved feels heard and understood.

Attachment Injury & C-PTSD

Individuals bring unique attachment patterns shaped by early life experiences into their adult relationships. Secure, anxious, or avoidant attachment styles may influence how individuals approach intimacy, communication, and emotional connection, along with how they respond to tending to multiple partners or supporting their partner’s expanded relationship network.

Unresolved attachment wounds and trauma can affect nervous system regulation, self-esteem, trust, and the ability to form secure bonds with partners—all of which can become amplified in the context of CNM.

Pre-CNM Exploration

Similar to premarital counseling, many couples come to therapy on the precipice of CNM for “pre-CNM counseling,” wanting to work through possible pitfalls, misaligned expectations, and boundaries. Sometimes one person in a partnership is more interested than the other, and we use therapy as a space to address this rupture and explore options, expectations, and potential emotional consequences before moving forward.

Boundary Negotiation

Negotiating and establishing clear boundaries is crucial in consensually non-monogamous relationships. Sometimes clients enter therapy due to boundary violations or affairs that have already occurred within the context of CNM, necessitating rupture repair and the rebuilding of trust.

Jealousy & Insecurity

Jealousy and insecurity happen in monogamous relationships, but they may often feel amplified in the context of CNM. We can address these painful emotions and protective parts in therapy from a radically non-judgmental stance, helping individuals and partners develop more secure attachments to themselves and others, along with the coping skills needed to weather emotional storms.

Navigating Multiple Relationships

Balancing multiple relationships often requires advanced time-management skills and a large emotional capacity in order to tend to everyone’s needs. In therapy, we can work on developing greater emotional capacity, self-awareness, emotional attunement, and the practical skills needed to successfully navigate multiple relationships.

Metamour Clashes

Sometimes clients enter relationships with people that their other partner(s) do not mesh with, leading to potential waves of conflict and emotional pain within consensually non-monogamous (CNM) dynamics. These challenges can be particularly pronounced when metamours—individuals who share a partner but are not romantically or sexually involved with each other—find it difficult to establish positive connections.

A metamour relationship is unique in that the individuals involved are connected through their shared partner but are not romantically entwined. Therapy can provide valuable support in navigating and resolving conflicts among metamours, fostering communication, and creating a more harmonious environment.

Crisis & Transitions

Like any relationship structure, CNM relationships can face crises or significant transitions (e.g., moving, career changes, child-rearing, or chronic illness). Because there isn’t a dominant, ingrained societal blueprint for navigating these life transitions within the context of CNM relationships, therapy can be a place to receive affirming support and collaboratively explore solutions.

Sexual Health & Intimacy

There are often additional considerations and complexities when navigating sex and intimacy across multiple relationships. Therapy can be a space to discuss sexual health, desires, and intimacy within the context of consensually non-monogamous relationships, helping ensure that everyone involved feels comfortable, informed, and safe.

Family, Social Dynamics & Stigma

CNM individuals may seek therapy to navigate the complexities of family and social dynamics, especially when disclosing their relationship structure to friends or family members. CNM individuals often face ongoing societal stigma and judgment, ample misconceptions, myths, and microaggressions about their relationship choices and identities.

With CNM-affirming clinicians, therapy can provide a supportive environment to process the emotional impact of external perceptions, navigate challenges with greater confidence, and build resilience in the face of stigma.